Meet Brendan—the guy who keeps the coffee hot, the jokes pun-intentionally terrible, and your mental spirals safely untangled. While his golden retriever handles the cuddles, Brendan tackles the big stuff: guiding you through quarter-life existential dread, workplace burnout, and those mysterious 3 a.m. thoughts that start with “what if…?” and end with Googling obscure personality quizzes. Armed with a coach’s optimism and a future Psych NP’s clinical curiosity, he’ll high-five your victories, meme-ify your setbacks, and translate psychobabble into plain-English pep talks. Sessions with Brendan feel like grabbing nachos with a friend who happens to know CBT, mindfulness hacks, and how to side-eye unhelpful thought patterns into oblivion. His unofficial prescription pad reads: “One dose of self-compassion, taken with sarcasm; repeat until thriving.” Come for the coaching, stay for the groan-worthy puns—because Brendan believes the brain heals best when laughter and insight share the same couch.

Dexter is our resident cuddle expert—he’ll park himself right on your lap and refuse to budge until you’re grinning ear to ear. With a nose for detecting stress and a wagging tail that’s basically a built-in heart rate stabilizer, he’s mastered the art of “paw-sitively” unwavering support. Whether you need a warm snuggle during a tough session or just someone to lean on, Dexter’s your devoted, four-legged P.H.D. in Happiness.

Meet Darla—the one doing all the heavy lifting around here. While her “dad” sits in a chair pretending to ask clever questions, Darla is the true healing force: she’ll hop up beside you, nose you until you share what’s really on your mind, and lock eyes until you feel heard. Unlike her human counterpart (who’s mastered the art of nodding thoughtfully), Darla diagnoses in a single tail wag and prescribes unlimited cuddles with zero side effects. When it comes to mental health, she’s the only one with an actual P.H.D.—Paws, Hugs, & Devotion—and her sessions end only when you’re grinning and relaxed. Consider her the real head of this practice—dad’s just along for moral support.